Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Are you happy with your life?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do women need to wear bras, in spite of the fact that the breasts are an integral part of the body?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do some people have sex with dogs?

I see through liars

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Do straight guys like to see cocks?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Red Cross says at least 21 killed and dozens shot in Gaza aid incident - BBC

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity